Looking forward..

Things are looking up! I'm finding my happiness, and there's no turning back.

About a month ago, my most recent boyfriend attempted to take his own life. Obviously, it was a ploy to try to win me back, condidering all else had already failed, but when I took a deep breath and a step back I realized... I deserve to be happy. It's not my job to coddle anyone, waste my time and money taking care of an adult. I've lived my entire life trying to please everyone else, it's my turn to do what makes me happy.

So as I let his absurd plays fall to the back of my mind, my body felt relaxed, and my mind was at ease.

And then, I decided to take advantage of the opportunities life has been thrusting toward me, by accepting a bartending job.

Soon, I'll be able to save some money and by next year, I'll have more than enough to take my dream vacation.

I'm going to Brazil!

No more getting in my own way, no more using "love" as an excuse to stay in a rut. I'm free.

:)

Bucket list, take two!

See Brazil / attend Carnival
Backpack through South America
Tend a bar
Play my music in the streets
Sing a set in a bar
Drive a ridiculously expensive car
Not crash it
Buy a muscle car
Hang glide
Skydive
Party with rockstars
Make a homemade indie film
Spend a year in L.A.
Spend a year in N.Y.
Travel by train across Europe
See Africa
Spend some time getting to know China
And Japan
And Thailand
And the Phillipines
Be happy
Help others be happy
Love always
Forget regret.

A little late for the new year.

Every time a new year rolls around, my Facebook news feed fills to the brim with people talking about change. Change can be a wonderful thing, but when your goals turn to changing yourself as a person, your goals become unrealistic.
You are still a human being, complete with the same fears and insecurities as every other human being in our society. You judge yourself and decide that you are imperfect, then punish yourself for not living up to this standard of "perfection" that society has set for you.
Until you realize that you are, in fact, perfection in it's purest form, you will never be happy with yourself. Don't get me wrong, you should never stop learning and growing as a person, but when broken down to the core of who you are, you are perfect exactly as you are.

You are light, you are the stars and you are one with the world. You are worthy of love. You deserve to love yourself, and you deserve the love of others.

Too ambitious?

Sometimes I stop to think to much, and in a heartbreaking moment of clarity I remember who I am.

I'm sort of messed up, aren't I?
Too many goals, too many ambitions.

This weeks ambition? Pitch a show to MTV. I found out exactly how, I have the phone number and address right in front of me.

I've been in cosmetology school for the past 11 months, and I was thinking.. After I graduate... I want to travel. So why not do both? If it's a possibility to travel and be a beautician at the same time, I would die happy.

Picture me, traveling across the united states, sampling the nation's (and eventually the world's) most addictive spas and salons!

Go big or go home, right?

-Mina

A Ridiculous List of Impractical Goals

• Be the front (wo)man of an internationally renown and award winning indie rock band
• Be a badass and coherent bartender
• Be a Travel Channel Host(ess)/Be on a reality television show
• Make a billion dollars.
• Learn 6 languages, well enough to hold a 7 way conversation.
• Stop making ridiculous goals, and start actually trying to achieve the ones I've already decided on.

I miss you.

I'm a little lost, ever since last Thursday when my Wallet, and the thousand dollar check from school went missing in the locker room.

I apologize for not posting lately, a commitment that doesn't nessecarily affect anyone outside of myself, but it was a commitment that I have been neglecting.

I've been thinking a lot about my ethnic background.

Something a classmate of mine said to me really hit me hard, and reenforced a ton of issues and angst I thought was dealt with and set down behind me in my past.

Wrong.
(My face was painted white as part of a makeup assessment, the girl who's art it was got an A!
This was her challenge;

This was her excecution;

Anyways, back to the other girl.)

She said, "Mina, you have very white features, not just your [makeup] I mean your features. I never would have guessed you were black if not for your hair!"

Mind you, this was completely out of left field, no warning or conversation leading up to it, and half my class agreed out loud. At first, I was hurt, and then I was angry, but then I realized that it's okay for some people to act that way. She just doesn't realize that our people are very very varied, and saying that someone doesn't look black, is kind of like saying that all black people look alike. My mother and I had this discussion last night and she told me something that will stick with me. She said, "We are the original people. Trace your family back far enough, and everybody's black. Egypt is in Africa, all of those biblical figures are black."

Think about that next time you want to say something stupid about my race.



On a lighter note, I don't know if you noticed but my braids are almost done! It's hard to do it yourself, so I'm really thankful I have friends in school to help me.



Love.
 - Mina

My sincerest apologies.

I apologize if anyone cares that I've fallen out of touch,
but I've been really busy these last two weeks while I've been working. 5 hours of work, after 9 hours of school? Not even mentioning the tine it takes to travel between them on the damn city bus! I am so exhausted by the time I get home, which sometimes isn't till 1am, which leaves me with... Say... 5, or so, hours of sleep before it's time to wake up for school again. Welcome to the working world, Mina!